You made me cry and you don't even care
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
