I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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