...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize