I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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