did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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