I cockslap morals
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
