I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
