Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
