Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
