Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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