so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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