what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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