One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
soo... how was my night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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