Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
