I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
