If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize