I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
