you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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