buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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