I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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