I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
