he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
