So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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