As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
