I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
