btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
