i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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