I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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