man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
