Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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