Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
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I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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