i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
