how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
third nipple confirmed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
