Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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