What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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