How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she peed on how many people?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
