Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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