Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
