Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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