i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
