Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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