Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
