is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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