I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
