apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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