i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
