Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
