ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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