My cat gives me a boner
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
