for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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