don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
