you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
