My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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