i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize