Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
