Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize