i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
