What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
